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Thursday, 14 February 2013

Put Die Hard to sleep

Die Hard 5 is the most ridiculous film I have ever seen. I suspended disbelief as it started and quit after 5 minutes when Bruce takes an Aeroflot flight to Moscow with no Visa.

What follows is a Mercedes sponsored car chase gun fight window smashing chase through Russia featuring beards, oligarchs, hired goons in Italian suits and a sexy daughter with red lips.

More bullets are fired than in Saving Private Ryan and no one really gets shot, it's a 12A so kids note, people don't die until you are 18, then they die. OK.

Skip to Ruski with Uranium, Chernobyl rubbish and a helicopter with truck in it for no reason. Boom boom bang bang explosion end.

Back to USA for sunshine and a milkshake.

They made films like this years ago, Commando was a fine example, but when Bruce does his one liners even Roger Moore couldn't save them. They stink.

There is only one moment that worked, a homage to Alan Rickman falling in slow mo from Die Hard. That's it for in gags.

I wanted to leave after 10 minutes because I knew what was coming. Just do not bother, go watch Die Hard or Die Hard 2 for the real McClaine. Better still go see Django Unchained for a real movie experience.

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